Ending..

October 4, 2009 at 18:06 (DICKSON)

Meeting you was a fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over.

After being a loner for 2 years, studying hard of what I’m pursuing, you came along.

Your appearance totally changed everything now,

I remember the first time we met, for porridge outside.

I remember how after that we use to hang out often for dinner, movies or even a short while of supper.

All these small yet meaningful things made me feel differently towards you, I don’t know why but it just did.

It made me want to know you more , and understand you better.

Seeing you smile brightens up my day, giving you a surprise of making you a small gift that I hand made.

Hearing you complaint either your work loads or the cars that irritates you on the road.

Or even your past life, knowing that it hurts you real deep, but I wish I could be the one to help you heal it.

Letting you bully me, it’s a way of how you communicate with me.

Waiting for your smses every minute and preparing to reply it once upon receiving it.

Chasing you back home, to spend more time with your parents.

 But all it seems wrong, I can’t seem to understand you now, neither of what you’re thinking or doing.

Afraid of making a wrong move would make you hate me forever.

Hid things from you makes me feel bad, just like my health condition, when you asked, I changed the topic not wanting to let you know any as it might add on to your trouble.

You might not be bother at all by these, but I’m.

It makes me jealous whenever someone texted you or you went out with, wanting to know who is that.

Whenever you made comments of people walking around, it maybe playing but I won’t know.

But I guess everything gonna turn out in another way, as I would be gone again as before.

Just because somebody doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

But I would like to say sorry to you for all these things I’ve done, incase I wouldn’t have any chance.

Questioning you about your past life and personal questions.

Forcing out an answer from you before you went for your holidays.

Being cold towards you after you came back from your trip.

Really am sorry about it.

I just got all choked up thinking of what to do, doing stupid things alone.

I’m sorry if all these seems irritating to you, after going over and over this in my head for the past 1 month.

 

I just want to tell you, I think of you every moment of the day.
And how much I love you.

I love you with all my heart.

 If I had a flower for every time I thought of you, I could walk in my garden forever.

Your Being Loved Always,

May you have a happy ending.

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Final Decision?

October 3, 2009 at 16:39 (DICKSON)

Finally, I got my confirmation letter, but there is something I can’t let go and it’s pulling me back.

My close friends – I believe you know what I meant don’t you?

I’ll miss you guys deeply; I did regretted coming back to studying instead of continuing over there. But the thing that I didn’t regret was to know new friends. You were always there helping me whenever I’m feeling down or sad, making me eat when I don’t feel like, cheering me up every time making me smile. I’m deeply sorry that I always made you guys worried for me, whenever I’m sick or being sent into hospital.

It’s my pleasure to know you guys! (;

I just feel so bad that I just got all choked up, practically doing my projects alone at home every day. I’ve been going over this and over this in my mind for 1 month but yet I still can’t decide. I don’t need help just maybe a little more time being given and also understanding too?

Could this whole situation work out just fine?

 XOXO,

 

TO, 

You-know-who,

I hope I didn’t scare you or what with my appearance suddenly or with my directly asking of your past life. I just want you to forget all the bad moments you had and enjoy the present but I guess you could hardly do it. But I was very happy being able to do many things with you together, it was my happiest moments ever since the last 2 years of loner. I accidently told you something which I shouldn’t have, which is I’m leaving, yes I’m leaving. But I can’t make the decision yet as I’m so scare I made a wrong move and I would really regret it for the rest of my life. I seriously can’t seem to understand what you’re thinking of and it’s kind of weird to me, but of course I don’t wish to irritate you, I didn’t ask further. I kept things from you; I didn’t want to tell you anything about my health as I know you had problems of your own and adding on another would make it worst, but even if you didn’t want to bother its fine. All I wanted is you to be happy and that will satisfy me.

Being Loved forever,

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Personal..

September 28, 2009 at 16:50 (DICKSON)

Many things are bothering me these few days.. my life and school.

Just don’t know how am I suppose to deal with all these.

Me, practically being stalked by people whom I don’t know, and had never seen before?! plus they’re talking scandals about me.. I mean by ~ why.

Love me or Hate me, its still an obsession, especially when u’re cyber-stalking me.. its sick!

School, one my Girlfriend quits, not sure why is it, but most likely its link to the same term, stress!

Many of us didn’t had enough sleep for days ever since the submission dates of our projects are drawing near, like myself for example, i literally didn’t sleep for 5days straight and yet I went clubbing! how wonderful can that be! haa

Will I ever smile again?

 

XOXO,

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Perfect Love..

September 25, 2009 at 10:59 (DICKSON)

Any lucky couples?

XOXO,

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Confused..

September 25, 2009 at 02:25 (DICKSON)

What wrong with me?

I’m feeling so confuse. Is it so hard to make a right decision??

Why would I feel this way even though I manage to throw away all the bad memories? Is it because the feeling is still there?

 

Will I ever become what I was before?

Cold-blooded.

XOXO,

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Confused..

September 25, 2009 at 02:18 (DICKSON)

whats wrong with me?!

I mean by, just picture urself readers,

You found out your lover kept texting someone else calling loving names and you happens to see it? How would you feel? 

Been bugging myself to my work to whole entire 1week, what do I gain? cheated?

Has my life really change?

Will I ever learn?

XOXO,

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Love…

September 22, 2009 at 00:17 (DICKSON)

Does anyone had this feeling before?

Being cheated somehow..

I’ve been going through it over again and again in my mind for the past 2 weeks, wondering what to do next. But it doesn’t seem to help a single bit except making me horrified. Countless nights of crying and thinking isn’t the way out for me either. Friends tried to get me out of it, reminding me every now and then they could, but all I did was to lead them disappointed. 

I’m truly sorry!

 Torturing myself everytime just to believe every single word you said, not knowing which is the truth or false. How am I suppose to trust you?

Must I really end all communication with you, just to move on? Must I really do something so horrible?

Am I the one in fault, starting the whole story myself. is it really happening this way?

Is this how it should be? regardless of all I did went down to waste..                                                 

 

XOXO,

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